She wants you to text ahead and arrange a visit on her terms at a time that suits her. Child birth and becoming a mum first time, second time, eight time is overwhelming and comes with an enormous feeling of total lack of control. So naturally being in control of when and who she spends her time with is hugely important. For me this time I’m also considering Ned and how much disruption there will be to his little life all of a sudden so that too will play a part in when and who I want calling.
She wants you to come bearing gifts such as food a dinner to heat in the oven. One of the best gifts I ever received was my friend arriving with a lasagne, flapjacks and a loaf of banana bread. When Ned was one week old and I sat on the couch bawling crying over my lack of breast milk in she landed. You don’t need to be a cook or a baker you can pick stuff up like that every where these days, it will mean the world to not have to cook a dinner or have something yummy with a cuppa!
She does not want to hear “oh really none of mine ever did that” she does not want to hear she looks wrecked, tired, still pregnant or have any reference to the state the house is in! Seems like an obvious one right 🙄
She wants to hear “you’re a natural, he’s thriving, you look great!”
She wants a gift receipt with all gifting! Size matters baby 😛 and it’s totally impractical when you get an abundance of gifts in say for example 0-3 and nothing in 3-6 or vice versa. There quite literally isn’t enough hours in the day to wear them. Gift receipts cover any issue that may arise.
She does not want to be told who to visit, my Gran was the queen of this. “You know Deirdre, xxxxxx would love to see you and the baby if you get a chance to call or if your down, it’d make her day” No No No! Refer to point one 👆
She wants a shower. if your close enough to take over for twenty minutes offer, always offer, offer all the time, she needs it and she wants it but it’s a funny time and sometimes the words to ask for help just don’t come out from our heads to our mouths. So offer even if it never gets accepted!
She does not want comments about the dog in any shape or form, wether it be that she’s not the baby anymore, or the safety of the actual baby, or the health of the baby. Nothing!
She wants you to give some attention to the toddler and not just the new baby. She’ll even be happy for you to ignore her and the baby and rejoice in her happy toddler being occupied and given some ones full attention for half an hour. Now that’s a priceless gift right there!!
She does not want impractical gifts. This was my party piece, When I think of what I bought some Mums in my young free and single days 😂 I’m sorry is all I can say! Think outside the box, buy for her perhaps instead of the baby, bring a bottle even if she’s so inclined, a voucher is always welcomed with open arms in any house and food will never go unappreciated I promise! I know it’s not very glamorous but nappies , nappy cream, wipes believe me she knows how much they all cost and one pack of each is probably the same cost as a set of baby grows from Next, bang them in a gift bag if it makes you feel more gifty 🤣
She wants to do a good job more than anything and is trying really hard to get it right.
Enjoy Dee xx